How to talk to your kids about substance use
We all want our kids to grow up to lead happy and healthy lives. Part of this involves minimizing the risks posed by drugs and alcohol. However, parents often find it difficult to know when and how to talk to their children about substances. Here are a few tips, broken down by age to help.
Ages 2 to 4: When your children are very young, it is important to talk to them about being healthy and making healthy choices. One of the best places to start is with their diet. Do your best to explain why eating spinach or green peas is good for them. Even at an early age, you can begin to help children make the connection between health and what they put in their bodies. It’s also a good idea to teach them about dangerous substances in their environment such as cleaners, medications, or anything toxic they could get into.
Ages 5 to 8: This is a great age range to set clear rules and expectations with your children about substances. If you drink or smoke at home, make sure that they know these substances are especially dangerous to them at their age. You can also explain the difference between using and misusing medicine.
Ages 9 to 12: At this point, your child is now a preteen who craves some level of independence. Set and enforce your rules and expectations. Children in households that have established boundaries are less likely to use substances. This age in a child’s life tends to bring insecurity and pressure, so developing a healthy, trusting relationship is key. It’s also good to check-in with your child’s friends and their parents to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Ages 13 to 18: The teen years are a crucial period for all children and their parents. Teens begin to hear more and more about substance use from their peers and they can begin to feel pressured. As a parent, you should speak openly with your child about substance use. Make it clear that you disapprove of underage substance use, but listen to how they feel about the issue. Instead of a one-time big talk, look for opportunities that occur naturally to reiterate your family’s stance on drugs and alcohol. A few examples of scenarios like this might be a substance-related news story on TV or the radio, an event involving substances on campus, or big events / parties that come up in your student’s life.
One of the best ways to help teens feel prepared to say “no” if substances are offered is to have a backup plan with you in case they need a quick exit. Designate a code that can quickly be sent via text that alerts you to call them right away and to pick them up immediately. This can give your teen an excuse to their friends and can relieve the social pressure to try drugs and alcohol. Example: “My mom just called and says there’s a family emergency, so I’ve got to go.”
Ages 19 to 25: Your child is now a young adult and may be living on their own now. Even though they have “left the nest” they still benefit from parental guidance. If your child is attending college, make sure they are aware of all the different kinds of drugs that can be on campus. You can also keep an eye on your child’s mental health and be sure they are aware of the mental health resources on campus. Reassure them that you’re there to support them. Even though you may not feel it, you, as a parent, are the #1 influence in your child’s life, even as they mature into young adulthood. Make sure you talk to your kids about If about substance use. Set clear boundaries and expectations and make sure your children know that you disapprove of underage substance use. Be understanding and give your children the facts. Doing so gives them the best shot at avoiding substances, and living their happiest, most-fulfilled life.
Nathan Grounds is the coalition coordinator for the Northeast Texas Coalition Against Substance Abuse. If you are a community leader interested in preventing youth substance abuse, email nathan.grounds@nextstepcsi.com.